WORKWORK11: The Reasons We Suffer // A Few Quick Personal Updates
Inner Work
Suffering is optional. — Byron Katie
Last WORKWORK, we talked about having a choice in the thoughts we believe. Over the next few WORKWORK’s, we are going to dive into the side of that choice that we don’t want to face — the thoughts and beliefs that cause us pain. I’ll be talking through a lot of the concepts and practices of Byron Katie to help bring these concepts to life. I’m so happy that I started rereading her book: Loving What Is. (I’d highly recommend if any of these next few WORKWORKs resonate with you, and you’d like to go deeper.)
First, we’ll break down the 3 reasons we suffer:
We believe a thought that argues with “what is.”
We are mentally living out of our business.
We’re attached to our thoughts.
Then we’ll dive into inquiry, which is 4 questions and a turnaround that Byron Katie has created called, The Work.
Let’s jump into the first reason we suffer — Believing a thought that argues with reality.
Desiring reality to be different than how it is, is useless. She uses an example that I love. She talks about how the area she lives in California is super windy most of the time, yet people are always complaining that it’s windy. We’ve all been there — having a moment where we wish the weather were different than what it is. But if we think about it, we have thoughts like this all the time in other realms. I wish my friend would stop being mad, I wish my sister would text me more, I wish my partner was a better listener, I wish I had hair like hers, I wish my neighbor wouldn’t be so loud, and so on... All of those are thoughts that argue with what is. And that is the cause of suffering: wishing things were different creates stress, angst, sadness, and hopelessness. When we argue with reality, we lose.
Then she says, “How do I know that the wind SHOULD blow? It’s blowing!”
I love that quote. It’s being added to my new quote log :) To be a playful reminder that I can bring up when I am frustrated or upset with what is happening in reality.
When we are able to release the thoughts that argue with what is, we are more empowered. Instead of agonizing over what is happening and wishing it were different, we have the power to choose how we want to respond to it!
I don’t do a lot of prompts in WORKWORK entries, but I am finding it to be quite interesting (and sometimes fun) to actively notice when I am thinking the thoughts that go against reality. I call to mind that quote about the wind and I kind of laugh, then I think about how I want to respond to reality.
Excited to chat through the 3 different types of business in the next WORKWORK :)
When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind and fearless. — Byron Katie
Outer Work
I’ve been toying with the format of the Outer Work section of WORKWORK. Sometimes it feels so trivial to go into marketing, ecommerce, and B2B2C strategies after I’ve just looked deep inside myself to create Inner Work. Sometimes I’d like to give more personal updates that pertain to all facets of the ways I spend my time (something I feel like I do a little more on Instagram stories). Other times, I wish that I could provide video updates... Is that weird?
I’d be really curious to hear from readers what kind of information they’d find most valuable. If you have thoughts, I’d seriously love to hear them! Please just reply to this email. I look at all replies!
In the meantime, here are a couple of quick updates:
I am speaking live this afternoon at Ecommerce Tech’s Future of Ecommerce Event. I’ll be highlighting hot takes from some DTC experts around data. We’ll break them down so that people can apply them to their ecommerce store. I’m on at 1:30 pm EST. You can register for free here: https://dtc22.ecommercetech.io/?promo=tydo7
I know a lot of brands are considering Tik Tok ads as a new advertising channel for them. Personally, I have learned the most about all ad buying strategies from Savannah Sanchez. She recently came out with a Tik Tok Ad Buying course that I’d highly recommend if you feel in the dark about how to leverage the platform as an ad channel. Check it out here: https://thesocialsavannah.podia.com/tiktok-course/9sfle
Content is a huge priority for us at Tydo, which is why we’ve prioritized it so early. We have had some of the most informative and inspiring conversations lately. They are written by two of my favorite people to work with: Rachel Cantor and Adrian Alfieri. If you are looking to dive deeper into the ecommerce landscape, check out the Pulse here: https://www.tydo.com/category/deep-dive
Lastly, if you’re a brand operator or know a founder that could use a “pick your brain” session, just a friendly reminder that I’m on Mentorpass and I talk with new founders and operators weekly about some of the challenges they are facing. You can book time with me here: https://mentorpass.co/me/erinfalter