WORKWORK17: The Importance of Self-Acceptance and Change // Publishing Your Work Increases Your Luck
Inner Work: The relationship between self-acceptance and change. Outer Work: Sharing your work increases your luck.
Inner Work
Last WORKWORK, I told you about my new mantra (I am exactly where I am meant to be) and how that is helping me focus on self-acceptance in the present.
Today, I want to talk about how many high achievers, including myself (until recently), often think self-acceptance and personal ambitions don’t correlate—that if you have radical self-acceptance, you lose the part of you that always pushes to achieve more. After doing some inner work and coaching work, I feel stronger than ever, that this isn’t true.
When we think about the typical process of getting better and setting goals it goes something like this:
I don’t accept the amount of money I’m making —> I’m going to change my career
I don’t accept the type of food I’m eating lately —> I’m going to go on a diet
I don’t accept the way I’ve been starting my mornings —> I’m going to wake up earlier
We tend to think about making changes to our life within this two-step process. As high achievers who want more for themselves, we might look to things like grit, perseverance, and discipline as the way to turn into the person we want to be. While those are definitely useful tactics at times, we are still operating from a place of lack: I lack, therefore I will change.
“If we get into the habit of experiencing lack in the present moment, nothing will ever be good enough.” - Shift to Freedom Podcast
In the 1980s, a psychologist named James Prochaska created a model for what the stages of change look like. In reality, change is a much more robust process:
Pre-contemplation
Contemplation
Preparation
Action
Maintenance
We could go in-depth about what each of these steps entails, but my point with bringing them up is to help you see that there is a lot more subliminal work, effort, and optimization involved in making a change in our life than we think.
So much of inner work is a mindset. If we go through each of these phases of change, with the present moment mindset of “I lack,” not only are we contemplating and preparing from a mindset of lack, but we are also taking action and doing maintenance on the change from a place of lack. In other words, we are carrying that energy (a feeling of lack) with us into that new version of ourselves that we are creating/forming.
When we accept where we are, we eliminate the feeling of lack. Acceptance of where we are in the present does not equate to an agreement with where we are. Acceptance is being at peace with what is. There are also a few amazing things that happen when you have inner personal acceptance: 1) Your natural immune system is online, 2) you have a greater sense of direction because your heart speaks louder, and 3) you are completely free and detached from the outcome.
Since I’ve been implementing the mantra, I am exactly where I am meant to be, in my life, I have already noticed how much clearer my visions are of who I want to become. I notice that I am kinder to myself as I think about the delta of where I am now and where I want to be. I also can see much more clearly that I am on the right path. Conversely, I can see significantly more clearly when I am steering in the wrong direction.
Without this inner peace that comes with self-acceptance, my decisions are more chaotic, and I place significantly more stress on myself. Both of those turn me into a less enjoyable person to be around, which not only goes against the vision of myself that I want to be but also who wants to seize an opportunity with that energetic foundation?! Not me.
Your mantra of acceptance might sound different than, I am exactly where I am meant to be. Maybe it sounds like, I am worthy, or I am competent, or I am perfect the way I am. Regardless of what it is, I highly encourage you to find it and practice telling it to yourself while you envision that version of you that you want to become. You just might find that they are more closely connected than you think 🙂
If you are interested in listening to a podcast that goes over a lot of what this WORKWORK is about, check it out here. Until next time…
”We tend to think that the future happens later but we’re creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart so does the future we had associated with it.” - Lori Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Outer Work
Publishing Your Work Increases Your Luck
Thought this was a fun one that directly correlated to being more accepting of where you are at. I find myself trying to make a lot of things perfect before I publish them. When it comes to TikTok (I have a whole new TikTok concept that I’m working on) I find that I don’t even get to the point of creating the content at all before I feel like it’s not “good enough” — whatever that means. I found this article light, but honest.
wow! this was exactly what i needed to hear
“When we accept where we are, we eliminate the feeling of lack.” 💛