WORKWORK23: New Year Reset 2023
INTRO
It’s officially 2023! Happy New Year :)
2022 was full of some of the most powerful Inner Work I have ever done and I feel utterly blessed to have shared a lot of that work with you. Some of the WORKWORK that you read, shared, and reflected on most were:
The 3 kinds of business in the universe: Mine, Your‘s, and God’s
The Work by Byron Katie (I provided a personal example where I discovered that I needed to learn how to spend more time with myself.)
The Third Yoga Sutra that says we are not the body nor the mind
The important role of self-acceptance in the process of change
I look at that list and say, wow, we are such courageous beings! Not to get cheesy, but I know how scary and uncomfortable Inner Work can be. It’s not easy, it’s not for the faint of heart, and it takes time to inquire within. (Let’s be honest, it’s not called WORKWORK for nothing 😉) But here we are… curious and capable beings all in pursuit of peace, freedom, and our higher potential.
So let us begin the work this year. I am right here with you.
THE PRESSURE OF NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
This year I’ve seen an abnormally high amount of people posting on social about the stresses and pressure that is felt at the start of a new year. The sentiment is reassurance and gentleness. I get it, I’d be lying if I didn’t feel it at moments, too.
A year’s time is a substantial milestone and milestones naturally inspire reflection, looking back on the previous 365 days. Did we accomplish all that we set out to? Are we “proud” of how we used that time? It’s also, of course, a new beginning that produces fresh visions of a bright future ahead. What do we want to create throughout the untouched year ahead of us? What are the big, energetic goals we must reach?
The result is a list of new year’s resolutions. Let’s look at the word “resolution” a little closer:
Resolution: n. a firm decision to do or not to do something.
No wonder there is a heavy weight of pressure! We are firmly deciding whether to do or not do something for an entire year. Add the layer of being ambitious individuals and you’ve likely got MEGA ideas, MEGA goals, and MEGA deadlines that you’re firmly deciding on for the next 365 days ahead of you.
Let’s be a bit kinder and… a bit more realistic.
WALLED GARDENS OVER RESOLUTIONS
As I mentioned in last year’s new year WORKWORK, I don’t focus on resolutions. I focus on broader themes (or walls for my walled garden) that I work backward from. I return to them frequently and evaluate whether they are still connected to where I am at that moment.
Russel Max Simmon in his post, Beware of Looking for Goals, highlights two reasons why being too goal-oriented can be dangerous:
“You will change as a person but remain rigidly attached to previous goals which are no longer a good fit.”
“The goals essentially distract you from the experimentation and self-exploration necessary to decide which way of life is the one you really want, as opposed to the way of life you think you should want.”
Attachment is what forms negative emotions around achieving or not achieving that goal or resolution. The distraction from experimentation + exploration pulls us away from the part of Inner Work that strengthens the bond between the vision of our higher self and our reality.
While resolutions and goals are rigid and filled with the distraction of desire, a walled garden is a safe space to explore, get creative, and find out which direction gets you closer to your heart. Let’s take a look at an example to highlight the key differences. I will take a common resolution or goal and break down what that might look like as a walled garden in two different ways.
Resolution/Goal: Become a morning person.
Walled Garden Example 1: Optimize for my best work.
Maybe the mornings are when you get your best work done and you want to optimize for that.
Maybe you just think you should become a morning person because some of your models are, but the reality is that your brain comes alive at night, like Jennifer Coolidge. If you are optimizing for getting your best work done and that happens at night, it’s possible the exact opposite could be more impactful.
There are a whole bunch of other ideas that come to mind for ways you could explore optimizing for your best work, like utilizing to-do list tools, better calendar management, when you feel most creative vs. most analytical and opting for that type of work accordingly, etc.
Walled Garden Example 2: Starting the day by getting your mind and body right.
Maybe you have seen the effects that working out can have on your mood and energy for your day when you begin with a workout. Instead of focusing on making sure to get up at a certain time, maybe you need an accountability partner or a new class/gym membership.
Maybe it’s really about you trying out different meal plans or foods to improve your energy.
Maybe starting your day right for your mind and body is being less distracted with social media and immediately jumping into your email and you decide to try keeping your phone in a different room for the first hour.
As you can see, there is so much more behind the one decision to set your alarm clock 2 hours earlier. By focusing on the idea of a walled garden, you become less attached to the concept of waking up at a certain time as the end-all, be-all solution. You allow yourself the ability to explore all sorts of new behaviors and ideas in the perfectly beautiful process of figuring out what is actually best for you and not someone else.
If you are feeling stuck on how to get from a resolution to a walled garden, start by asking yourself: Why is it important to me to do/become [insert resolution]? What do I hope to gain from [insert resolution]? What is my deepest intention behind [insert resolution]?
Just remember…
“Freedom lives within a walled garden.” — Unknown
START RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
One of the beautiful aspects of this approach is that you can begin at any time. You aren’t bound by any guilt formed from attachment to one goal. The new year encourages us to step back and see ourselves from a different perspective, one that’s a lot bigger, and more expansive. We crave that because, on a day-to-day basis, we get caught in the little details of life, the habitual actions we take… this project, this email, must-eat food, this flight, that workout, “omg a deadline!”, so-in-so likes your photo, gotta take out the trash… We are straight up, no sugar coat, in the weeds and we have completely forgotten why we are even here.
Deep breath.
Begin again. Ask yourself why. And if you have your walls determined, return to them, and ask yourself if they are still connected to your deepest intention. Together let’s not let a year pass us by before we think big picture, ground ourselves in our intentions, and get a sense of what this life is for. The more we return to it, the more our energy will flow in its direction.
MY CURRENT WALLS
Sometimes seeing an example is helpful in getting started on your own. By no means do I expect you to read through the following, but I find a lot of the new year strategies to be a bit preachy: “Here do this!” and you’re left sort of lost with how to do it yourself. So maybe the below is helpful or maybe it's just a chance to get my current walls in writing. ha! Anyway, here are the 3 walls that I want to be the guides for me to explore in my garden for the 2023 foreseeable future. I’ll break down how I’m thinking about each one:
OPTIMIZE TOWARDS CHOICE
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO PRACTICE INNER WORK
FORM DEEP CONNECTIONS
1. Optimize Towards Choice
As I continue my studies, I recognize how much of our freedom comes from the simple awareness and acknowledgment of choice. I want to deepen my awareness so that I can shed a clarifying light on choice. Tara Brach talks about increasing what’s above the line. She says to think of a circle with a line through it. What’s below the line is outside of awareness. What’s above the line is in our awareness and the line moves the more we practice. When we bring something above the line, we have choice. I want to increase what’s above the line so that I can optimize for more choice. Alright, so how am I actually putting this into practice? In practice, I’ll be exploring:
Radical Inner Work - I use the word radical but it’s really just another way of saying I’ll be turning to my Inner Work tools more frequently. Most of my Inner Work takes place during the mornings, in my beloved morning routine. But as I mentioned earlier, we get distracted, and as the world interacts with us, we forget our intention and forget why we are here. I will be leaning on Inner Work more throughout each day, radically checking in and utilizing the tools to help me bring more choice into my daily reality.
Slow Down + Simplify - While choice allows for the gift of freedom, it also involves great responsibility. It requires you to pay more attention. I’ve realized that’s impossible if I don’t slow down and simplify—creating less room for autopilot decisions. This is particularly challenging for me because my ego definitely prides itself on playing many different roles and working on many different projects at the same time. So far, the thing that’s helped me the most is looking for beauty and joy in the tiniest of things, like the feeling of a brush on my scalp or the moment when you find that just-right word for an email. It’s not easy, but I’m leaning in; it’s not even the end of January and I’ve already made the difficult choice to say “no” to 3 really interesting and compelling opportunities.
Documentation - I recently learned that in addition to my Taurus sun, I am a double Virgo Moon + Rising. As I do more and more research, I see patterns and interconnectivity like a constellation of information, and the Virgo in me seeks an order for it all. I see the impact that documentation has had on my writing but as I practice radical Inner Work, I hope to document what I’m finding to be useful so that the process of making choices becomes more fluid and more natural.
Letting Go + Prayer - When I think about choice, I naturally picture someone standing in front of me with 2 options of something, and it’s all on me to choose this or that. But the choices you make are often connected to something much bigger, things you can’t see, the magic of the collective universe at work and angels above. The act of letting go and prayer will help me see when a choice isn’t even for me to make and also when I might need to ask for help from above and just let the universe do its thing.
2. Encourage Others to Practice Inner Work
I initially created WORKWORK to hold myself accountable for doing the work, specifically the one of paramount importance: Inner Work.
As I practiced putting learnings into writing, which allowed me to understand textured concepts, I started to see how much I enjoy inviting others to go inward and check out what’s going on within. There is something there that feels like it’s connected to something deeper, more purpose-driven within me. While WORKWORK is by no means the only way to encourage others to inquire within, it’s certainly the way that I’ve been able to impact more people this past year.
I’ll still aim to send out WORKWORK in newsletter format bi-weekly, but I have higher aspirations for WORKWORK. I hope to release a new design for its visual identity, mostly because I have a love for good design and I think a well-designed space encourages doing the work. Anything you’ve seen thus far has been my attempt at not being a block to the process but I also try not to cringe every time I post (haha). I also have aspirations of a website with tools and resources to practice inner work more actively in addition to creating a virtual library for people to explore. Maybe there will be ways for WORKWORK readers to connect with each other. Different content formats will be considered as well. (P.s. I’m all ears if you have interesting ideas you’d like to see!)
3. FORM DEEP CONNECTIONS
I thought that last year was going to be filled with networking and relationship building but I quickly learned by April of 2022 that it would be quite the opposite: learning to be content with myself, alone. With that acknowledgment came a whole menu of different emotions ranging from shame to sparks of true joy and love. I became kinder to myself, more interested in the thoughts that roam through the mind, and courageously clicked into the scary stories I told myself at times. And while there is always more work I can do on my relationship with myself, I feel a strong pull to bring more connection into my life. The timing is always perfect because I have a much better understanding of what connection really means for me now. I will be looking to explore this through:
Curiosity Conversations - actively seeking out conversations with people in spaces I find interesting. To learn, practice curiosity, and see what happens!
More Listening - One really strong learning from 2022 is the more I consciously choose to listen in conversations, the more I feel like I am showing up and communicating in alignment with my higher self.
Less Chameleon, More Me - I’ve done a lot of work on my self-esteem last year and I’m more aware than ever of my people-pleasing tendencies. I am really good at matching other people’s energies. This year I want to listen to myself and allow myself the space to be more true and more tender with others. If you aren’t about it, no hard feelings.
Nurture Values-Aligned Friendships - As I get more in tune with my own values, I start to use them as a guide in existing and new relationships. It’s helpful in figuring out where I place energy and attention to grow and nourish a friendship. I hope to form a web of wise and spiritual humans around me.
IRL Learning - I’m craving learning in in-person environments. I’d love to try to get to 1-2 retreats/courses this year. Plus, what better way to meet values-aligned people?
From within, Erin
Love reading about Inner Work and Byron Katie. They are always so useful to help me evolve as a person. Looking forward to what you have in mind for 2023!